Sunday, January 19, 2014

How you go into a bar with a screen door.


Back in the early 70’s I was working for Paragon Engineering in Leeds.  We were in the basement of Moss Thornton Construction Company.  Actually Moss Thornton was one of the owners of the company.  Our office was just outside of the break room for the construction company so it was an active place.  One day there was an equipment operator in the break area expounding on the virtues of life for an equipment operator.  One of his favorite places was a bar up at the Brompton exit.  The bar had no Air Conditioning and a wood stove for a heat.  It wasn’t the type of place I would want to take my 25 year old wife.  The operator was trying to convince me it would be a good place for me to stop on the way home and buy him a couple of drinks.  I told him I didn’t have a gun with me and ask if would they issue me one.  He said not to worry he had plenty in his truck, but he said you had to know to enter the building.  The first thing you need to enter is a gun, a BIG gun.  Don’t matter what you have as long it is real big.  Now what you do is you just stick the barrel down into your hip pocket with most of the gun hanging out.  As soon as you enter the door you accidently bump it with your hand so it falls out.  Now it needs to be big and heavy so it makes a lot of noise when it hits the wood floor.  As you start to pick the gun up you sort of kick it so it hits a couple of chair legs and make more noise.  By that time you should have at least a few of the people in the bar attention.  You bend down slow, pick up the gun; bring it slowly up to eye level so you can see it real good.  You twist the gun slowly around back and forth admiring the weapon.  As you slowly admire the gun you say loudly “Damn that Sun-of-Bitch could have went off and kilt one of y’all”.  Then you can sit at the bar and have a beer, but don’t stay too long unless you want to use the gun.


I never made to the bar but I have never forgotten the description of how to go into the bar.